Quick-fire 60 quiz

1. Steve asked Karl to imagine the creatures that would develop on dark, cold Pluto. What did Karl reckon they'd be like?
   • No eyes and slimy
   • Bald with massive ears
   • Big eyes and hairy
   • Tiny and glowing
   Show answer

   Big eyes and hairy

   Karl's reasoning: "it's the conditions that mold you into the shape and color and everything else."

   📼 The Ricky Gervais Guide to The Earth · 2010
2. Karl found an Asian monkey in the Guinness Book of Records. What record did he say it held?
   • The mammal whose eyes stick out the most
   • The longest tail of any mammal
   • The smallest mammal in Asia
   • The loudest scream of any mammal
   Show answer

   The mammal whose eyes stick out the most

   Karl described them as "Eyes that pop out of their head", then paused and added: "Steve."

   📼 XFM S2E41 · 7 Jun 2003
3. When the XFM adverts failed and the show descended into chaos, what did Ricky finally yell in exasperation?
   • "Back to you, Steve!"
   • "Next question!"
   • "Play a record then!"
   • "Cut to the ads!"
   Show answer

   "Play a record then!"

   The adverts weren't working, and Karl said he'd have to get an engineer in.

   📼 XFM S2E08, 12 Oct 2002
4. In Monkey News, a female monkey was sleeping around and getting fatter. Why was she putting on weight?
   • She was nicking the crew's sandwiches
   • She was raiding the Halfords tea room
   • She was a prostitute, charging her clients bananas
   • She was pregnant with twins
   Show answer

   She was a prostitute, charging her clients bananas

   Karl said monkeys normally "stick with a partner". Steve: "That's the most extraordinary monkey news I've ever heard." Ricky: "That is genius!"

   📼 XFM S2E50 · 9 Aug 2003
5. Ricky said the chip fat fryer was always on in his childhood home. What happened to the polystyrene ceiling?
   • It was yellow by Wednesday
   • It fell on his dad during tea
   • It was black by Sunday
   • It melted and dripped on the telly
   Show answer

   It was yellow by Wednesday

   Ricky: "The chip fat fryer was always on in my household." The "deathtrap" polystyrene ceiling "was yellow... come Wednesday in our house."

   📼 XFM S3E01 · 1 Nov 2003
6. Ricky wanted to film a champagne cork being fired at Karl's head. What did he hope the sound would be like?
   • A coconut being cracked
   • A boiled egg being tapped
   • A cowbell or a woodblock
   • A snooker break
   Show answer

   A cowbell or a woodblock

   Ricky: "Like a little cowbell or a woodblock his head... I'm hoping for 'pop!'"

   📼 XFM S4E01 · 28 May 2005
7. For 'Cheap as Chimps', what kind of question did Karl plan to put to his monkey expert?
   • How many bananas a monkey can hold
   • Whether monkeys can tell the time
   • Which monkey would win in a fight
   • How much it costs to keep or feed a monkey
   Show answer

   How much it costs to keep or feed a monkey

   Karl: "I give out, like, a monkey story and if that isn't enough for people, they'll also learn something else at the end of it."

   📼 XFM S2E30 · 15 Mar 2003
8. At university, Steve found a cashpoint with someone's card still in it and the PIN already entered. What did he press 'just to check'?
   • Cancel, to give the card back
   • Print receipt, as evidence
   • Balance, to see how much they had
   • Change PIN, to teach them a lesson
   Show answer

   Balance, to see how much they had

   "It was a considerable sum of money... It was not typical student debt." Ricky imagined the options on the screen: "Steal or go to heaven?"

   📼 XFM S2E42 · 14 Jun 2003
9. After Karl's baguette story, a former Upper Crust worker phoned in. What did she tell an excited Karl?
   • Her manager had made it up as a joke
   • It was copied from a French history book
   • She didn't know if it was true; she'd read the same sign
   • Only the Euston branch had that sign
   Show answer

   She didn't know if it was true; she'd read the same sign

   Karl got all excited: "So it is true." She replied: "Well, I don't know if it's true, I've—I've read the same sign you did, Karl."

   📼 XFM S1E08 · 12 Jan 2002
10. Karl said that as a toddler in a nappy he had a special spot he always went to when doing his business. Where was it?
    • A corner in the kitchen
    • Under the stairs
    • Behind the telly
    • Behind the settee
    Show answer

    A corner in the kitchen

    Ricky: "Why didn't you go to the toilet?" Karl: "Cos I had a nappy on." He was about three, and the family rule was: don't stare at him.

    📼 XFM S2E38 · 10 May 2003

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